I'm sorry...

Today was not a good day. I'm not sure if my hormones are out of wack or what. Maybe it's a combination of my hormones being out of wack and missing my hubby. I feel so overwhelmed right now. And by what, you might ask? Just STUPID stuff really. Since I feel so stressed, tense, irritable, moody, tired... I just want to be alone. I want to be able to RELAX. To sit in a clean, organized room and just BREATHE. SLEEP. REST. And I can't. I have a 3 year old daughter that as I'm cleaning and organizing things she is right behind me tearing down everything I put away or organize. LOL! It's pretty pathetic that I let all that overwhelm me when I wished for that with all my might when I couldn't get pregnant. In a sense, I feel like a bad mother. I feel bad because I want some time alone but then I feel guilty for wishing that.

I know Sofia is missing Daddy just as much as I am. Today I left our "junk" closet door open and she kept telling me "Mami, I want my HORSE." I was busy cleaning and had no clue what she was talking about. I looked in it, dug around and found no such horse. She kept asking for it. I looked again - no horse. She kept yelling that she wanted her "horse" and I had NO clue what she was talking about. I raised my voice at her and said "There is NO HORSE in there. I already looked. Please stop asking for it." She got quiet, turned around and I walked away back to my cleaning. A few seconds later, I heard her crying. I asked "Why are you crying..?" She replied, "Because I miss my Daddy..." I felt so bad for her... I miss him too. I went to hug her and tell her that I was sorry I raised my voice at her but that I couldn't find a horse in the closet. I still have NO clue what she was talking about but... gosh... I'm so sorry for yelling at you Sofia.

For raising my voice at you when all you wanted was a HORSE! lol And for ignoring you when I was on the computer when all you wanted was for me to talk to you, pay attention to you and play some games.

I feel so overwhelmed right now. I just hope that tomorrow is a better day. For the both of us.

And on another note... I kind of ruined a surprise for myself that my hubby had for me for our anniversary this month. Sorry baby! A brand new lens. A 35mm f/2. I can't wait to get it. I love my 50mm 1.4 lens don't get me wrong. It takes gorgeous pictures - specially in low light like in my bathroom at night. But it's always so darn tight. Specially when I want to take self portraits. So this will be nice. It's a wide angle lens so I will be able to fit MORE of my surroundings into a shot. Here's a pic of me today with my 50mm 1.4.
Not bad. But I'd like to have options.
I'm curious to see what kind of shots I'll get with the new lens. Thank you, hubby! You always know how to spoil and make your wife happy!

ps. I just noticed my right eye in this pic looks bigger than the other! UGH. The vision in my right eye is SO bad.... my lens is thicker on that side. I hate it. Grrr! LOL